Save Me From Myself
by BlackJap
Summary: You thought you knew the Azuma Ninja? Think again. Rikimaru and Ayame stuggle with their pasts, before they were ninja.


(This is an AU btw and I don't own it!)   
  
Rated: Arrrrr! j/k R (implied abuse, self-mutilation)   
  
Prologue   
  
Rikimaru sat on the cliff near the ninja village. He rolled up his sleeves showing many scars He then took out a small blade and pressed it deep into his skin. He tensed from the pain and ran it across his arm.   
  
Dark red blood oozed from the wound, as his senses enhanced so quickly he felt dizzy. Shaking it off he quickly rolled down his sleeve and put the blade away as he sensed Ayame's ki coming towards him.  
  
Last edited by DanaShadow on Oct 16, 2003 9:49 pm, edited 1 time in total   
  
  
  
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Ch 1  
  
  
  
Rikimaru's POV   
  
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I always hated the side effects. A few hours after I cut I had to try to remember what happened that day. I had gone on a mission with Ayame.   
  
She was injured I carried her home, wrapped the wounds, we talked for a while, then... I sighed, maybe it could wait.   
  
I was tired anyway.   
  
So I closed my eyes trying to sleep. Then after 20 minutes I gave that up too since I was too tired to sleep, too tired to get up, and too tired to even   
  
count the cracks in the ceiling.   
  
"I'm tired of living," I muttered. But you guessed it, I was too tired to get my knife (which was 4 feet out of my reach) and end it all.   
  
I sighed again. Out of all the people I killed why couldn't I get caught once? Or when I faught Tenrai, why didn't I just DIE for kami's sake?!   
  
Because you were afraid you'd fail and Ayame would get killed a little voice in my head whispered.   
  
I growled annoyed...at myself? Kami, I hate this. I hate that I can't stop this pain, wishing I would die, loving Ayame-   
  
What was the last one? No she's just my friend.   
  
Friends tell friends everything, if that were the case why don't you tell her how you feel?   
  
Just shut up, I thought to...myself and was finally falling asleep.   
  
  
  
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Ch 2  
  
  
  
Ayame's POV   
  
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Rikimaru is usually quiet, but today too quiet. It was one of those times where I was afraid that something bad was going to happen, but couldn't put my finger on it.   
  
"What's the matter?" I asked him after our mission. He hesitated for a moment and told me that nothing was wrong. I wasn't convinced and asked if he was sure and he gave me a curt nod.   
  
I hate it when he does that.   
  
I sighed and let him wrap my wounds even though I could do it myself,   
  
it was... comforting I guess just to have someone want to help you.   
  
And the fact that Rikimaru's arms were around my topless torso was just an added bonus. I thought with a slight blush.   
  
Noooo... bad mind, very, very bad. Time for your time out. I tought with a smirk as I fell asleep.   
  
  
  
Chapter 3: Flashback   
  
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Rikimaru tossed and turned in his sleep, as he was having a nightmare.   
  
Screaming and yelling assulted him in the hellish images.   
  
"How could you be so irresponsible, Omon* could have been killed!"   
  
"Don't even try to get away boy...you'll regret it."   
  
"Chikara*...oniisan...I'm scared"   
  
"You worthless brat; how dare you talk back to me! I was going to go easy on you but now... now you'll get worse that your mother!"   
  
"NO!" He yelled waking up. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself.   
  
'It was just a dream; nothing like that is going to happen again. He's dead   
  
and you know it; you saw the bastard's corpse yourself when Shiunsai-sensei protected you,' he thought.   
  
Are you sure? What if he does come back to hurt the ones you love? No matter what he is still smarter, faster, and stronger than you. A lingering voice in his mind taunted.   
  
The shinobi grabbed his knife on the other side of his room and began to slash repeatedly on his upper arms.   
  
There was so much blood, but he couldn't stop. As he started on his legs   
  
everything began to swim and get out of focus. Rikimaru felt a wave of   
  
nausea and before the ninja passed out, he heard his shoji open and the   
  
breaking of glass.   
  
*Ayame was called Omon as a child; and Rikimaru was called Chikara.   
  
Back then, Omon considered Chikara her older brother before she lost her memory...at least in my story. Bt Aya was really named Omon and Riki, Chikara. Ok I'm done rambling   
  
Ch 4  
  
Damn you, Rikimaru...you idiot! I sat against the wall watching his chest rise and fall while he breathed. I had been so scared that Rikimaru   
  
would have died. If I hadn't found him he'd be dead.   
  
My best friend,   
  
the only person I really love more than a sibling,   
  
had tried to kill himself.   
  
"Why didn't you talk to me Rikimaru? Why didn't you tell me that you felt so bad?" I whisper, but he remained unconscience.   
  
I always hated silence.   
  
flashback   
  
Seven year-old Ayame is walking in a small field carrying a basket of berries.   
  
"Maybe mama will make sweet tarts now since Kohryu's birthday is tomorrow," she said happily to herself as she then began to skip.   
  
A tall girl waring black appeared in front of the child, opened her mouth and sent a strong shockwave but silent throwing Ayame into a tree and then began to attack her village.   
  
Good, Riki is waking up.   
  
  
  
Ch 5  
  
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Rikimaru's POV   
  
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The first thing I was aware of as I woke up was horrendous pain in my arms and legs; the second was that I felt a ki next to me. It was upset and sad and I had the very, very bad feeling that it was Ayame. So I opened my eyes....   
  
...Damn, it was Ayame.   
  
She looked worried and anger,her face was tear-streaked and her large hazel eyes were red. Ayame looked me straight in the eye and said one word. The one word that I was dreading, but know that I had to answer...   
  
"Why?"   
  
I couldn't look at her. The only thing I could look at were the bandages on my arms. They were wrapped tightly from my wrists to my elbow. I had vagely remembered slitting my wrists in agitation last night when it didn't feel like I was dieing fast enough.   
  
"Rikimaru...please answer me. Why did you try to kill yourself?" Ayame pleaded.   
  
I suddenly felt bad. Ayame usually never pleaded with anyone no matter   
  
what.   
  
"I'm sorry," I apologized for some strange reason. It just seemed appropreate to apologize for putting her through this. She then did the one thing not even I had expected.She hugged me. I embraced her back and then felt something wet on my face.   
  
Oh. Kami. Was I crying?!   
  
  
  
  
  
ch 6: Going Right Back Through Hell Once Again (Ayame's POV)   
  
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I was laying on a warm pillow and didn't want to move; so I left my eyes closed. The pillow wasn't soft mind you, but I was warm and still halfway sleep.   
  
Suddenly the pillow jerked. I opened my eyes, and prepared to yell at Rikimaru for interupting my sleep, when I saw that in fact Rikimaru   
  
was the pillow, and was currently in the mists of a nightmare.   
  
I couldn't shake him awake since he wouldn't be expecting to be touched   
  
while sleeping; and he'd probably kill me if he did, or seriously injure me   
  
at best. So I was forced to roll out of his arms and watch as he rolled and whimpered, while dreaming. Well at least he wasn't screaming, yet.   
  
Emphasis on yet.   
  
Then as if on cue, the first scream the ripped from his throat scared me,   
  
and he kept screaming for a full 5 minutes until he started whimpering,   
  
and fell silent.   
  
This wasn't fair.   
  
This wasn't right.   
  
But there was nothing I could do. For now... 


End file.
